By the time I started planning my return trip to the USA, they had dropped the COVID Test mandate! I was so happy. So in order to return to my Luxury Prison in Drexel Hill (near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania), I only had to deal with storing my luggage, and securing plane tickets.

Luggage and Property Storage

A little background before I talk about the luggage storage situation. Not long after I got to Barranquilla, I was connected with this Canadian expat (let’s call him “Tim”). I was told that he could be a good resource for someone like me. We met socially a few times, I met his lovely family, and each time we met he proactively encouraged me to reach out to him if I ever needed anything.

Well, about a week prior to the end of my 3-month stay in Colombia, I visited with him and asked him if I could store a couple of suitcases at his place for the few months I’d be spending in the USA. He agreed, seemingly without any reservations. We even confirmed everything via text.

On the evening before my trip, my new Colombian buddy Nick and his girlfriend came by to help me with the luggage. I messaged and called “Tim”, without any response. He was online, he saw my message, and yet he ignored me. He completely disappeared, without any message back or anything… complete silence. I was in a state of minor panic. Nick was a bit upset on my behalf as well ✊🏾

Fortunately, my first AirBnB host (and new friend!) Beatriz and her sister were willing and enthusiastic to store my stuff even in her limited space. So with Nic’s assistance, I took my stuff there, and came back to shower and sleep.

If “Tim” had not disappeared and abandoned me, I would have gone to bed earlier and gotten at least 8 hours of sleep that night. Despite all the anxiety, I managed to get almost 4 hours of sleep that night. Better than nothing, but realistically I needed 8-10 hours. I’ll explain why, in the next section.

Anyway, this goes back to my post about poor communication and lack of commitment in Colombia (it’s worth a read). The general consensus is that nobody’s word is to be trusted or relied upon, unless you’re literally engaging in a direct and immediate transaction.

It’s worth noting that “Tim” is Canadian, married to (and procreated with) a Colombiana. I didn’t know him before my trip to Colombia, so I can’t know for sure if he’s just like this. However, Canadians have a reputation for being “nice”, and so far I’ve had no reason to doubt that Positive Stereotype. Nor was the incident a referendum about ALL Canadians (that would just be Flawed Analysis, bigotry, and foolishness on my part). Therefore, I can only surmise that he absorbed this poor communication and ghosting behavior from his Colombian people. If my theory is correct – and I believe it is (Occam’s Razor) – then that is quite unfortunate.

Flights

About a month before my return to the USA – before the whole Luggage Storage situation – I had searched high and low for a return ticket back to the disUnited States of America. The best I could find was a 2-part itinerary. The first part was BAQ (Barranquilla) to MIA (Miami) by way of MDE (Medellin) on Avianca. The second part was the NEXT day from MIA to PHL (Philadelphia) on the dreaded Spirit Airlines 😨 Obviously I would have preferred a non-stop flight, or a 2nd flight for the same day, to avoid an overnight stay in Florida. However, all other routes were orders of magnitude more expensive than the route I found. So I gritted my teeth and bought those tickets, with the understanding that I might have to spend even MORE money to stay in a hotel, or I would have to hunker down and sleep at the airport.

Well, I was unable to find any hotels for that night, for less than $266/night. This was an exorbitant amount for me, especially since that was a ratty bug-infested motel within reasonable taxi distance of the airport. So, I decided to tough it out and sleep at the airport… I arrived at MIA airport around 6pm, and my flight to PHL was at 10am the following day. I had my hoodie, jacket, a long shirt underneath it all, and fingerless mittens. These clothes kept me warm on the plane, but not at the airport, as I’ll explain shortly.

When I got to MIA, I was so fatigued and sleep-deprived, that I changed my mind and tried to get a Spirit Airlines flight to PHL on the same night. Unfortunately, Spirit Airlines had nothing available. Not even from FLL (Fort Lauderdale) airport. So I had no choice but to proceed with my original plan. I ended up regretting my decision to sleep at the airport 😅

After a certain time, the airport turned up the air-conditioning, probably automatically. This super-cold, super-dry air went right through my warm clothes 🥶 Combined with the rigid, uncomfortable seats all over the airport, getting any shut-eye was completely impossible for me. I ended up being awake, all through the 14+ hours of waiting, cursing my poor decision and the planning snafus that led up to the situation. I was sleep-deprived, with clearly reduced cognitive faculties. In fact, at some moments I had difficulty standing straight, and at one point I didn’t know where I was.

Real talk: I started hallucinating about being in a hotel bed 🤪

Eventually, I decided to go ahead to the departure gate, and just wait. I still had to go through TSA, defeating part of my purpose for staying within the airport instead of going out and coming back in. I had my US passport and TSA PreCheck card ready. The TSA agents who let people into security, didn’t speak English! And they didn’t even try! Fortunately with my basic Spanish I sort of understood what they were asking for, and I showed them my boarding pass. They had already seen my TSA PreCheck card, and yet, they ushered me into the General queue! This was moments after they opened the TSA PreCheck line for two Caucasian males. I didn’t see the agents requiring to see boarding passes. Once again, the cultural anti-black racism kicks on full display at MIA… two incidents in two trips.

By the way, for anyone reading this, and thinking that I’m exaggerating or making this sh!t up… what would be my motivation for lying, exactly? 🤷🏾‍♂️ And why would I need to lie about such incidents that have happened to me MULTIPLE times at several airports across MULTIPLE countries, and twice at MIA airport specifically?

Anyway, when I got to the Security station, I stepped over to the TSA PreCheck station, and nobody protested… because I had my TSA Pre-Check card out and visible. The Security Station lady confirmed my ID, and handed me a blue slip. She did NOT tell me I had to hold it in my hand the whole time while going through the X-Ray scanner line and machine.

As I and other passengers disrobed like tired and irritated burlesque performers 😆 the on-duty TSA workers were repeatedly shouting orders in the general direction of travelers, as ego-stoked, under-educated, low-intelligence, low-paid American wage slaves usually do. One TSA agent who seemed to be a supervisor, walked by, saw the long line and said loudly, that anyone in TSA Pre-Check should step over to the 2nd X-Ray scanner machine. I immediately did so… and the staff member manning the machine promptly (let’s call him “Chad”) told me to step over back to the General line. Though I was slightly baffled (a feeling compounded by my compromised and fragile mental state), I was lucid enough to Comply While Complaining With Curse Words Under My Breath… like any Freedom-loving American.

Guess what. Moments later, seemingly at the prompt of another agent, “Chad” had to re-balance the lines. Even though I was standing RIGHT THERE, he ignored me and told other people to come to his X-Ray machine. One passenger behind me saw everything that happened, and said something to the effect of, “That TSA agent is stupid”, and she asked me to go ahead of her.

Again, what reason would I have to lie about obvious discrimination? If you keep thinking up excuses for this treatment, or attempt to mentally gaslight me… You might want to check your privilege, cuz  what you’re doing is not cool at all.

After putting my clothes back on, I asked another TSA Agent if I had to hold that blue TSA PreCheck slip in my hand before going through security, and she indeed confirmed that this was the case. Lesson learned, I guess.

Uneventful Flights, Happy Ending

Eventually, the 2nd flight landed at PHL! I got on public transit and made my way back to my comfortable Luxury Prison (gracias a Dios) 🙏🏾 I then took a much-needed hot shower, ate some tasty West African cuisine, took ALL my medications, and slept for 12 hours straight. Despite the personal issues and moderate “travel chaos”, my return flights had no actual delays or cancellations, so I consider it a SUCCESS!